This deep down thirst had started to surface a year ago and I had done everything possible to ignore it. I had worked three jobs, volunteered and learned how to play several musical instruments, just so I didn't act on it; Just so I didn't feel it swallowing me little by little; just so I can keep an air of respectability. I knew it would be a matter of time before my wall would come down and I lived in fear of it. So on this particular night, when my friends cancelled our plans at the last minute, they may as well have allowed me sink with the Titanic. They wouldn't have done it on purpose, and I could have struggle just a little harder, but alas I was on my way down, stuck deep down the bowls of the ship. It all began at 8pm when I went online to a hookup site. I was desperately scrawling through profiles, and sending messages to white men that caught my attention. One of them replied. He was a tall, dark hair, blue eye hottie. He seen more amuse by our written exchanges. The more. By 4:00 in the afternoon we were on the far side of the ranch, about two and a half hours from the house, walking our horses.Back at the barn, while I took the saddle and bridle off Duke, Julie was taking the saddle and bridle off Crusty. By the time I had Duke wiped down and brushed, she had Crusty in his stall, brushed and wiped down. Manny looked over at me, nodding his approval, and I gave him a nod.After supper, Julie helped Mandy clear the table, then wash and dry the dishes. Of course, Mandy fussed at her, telling her this was her job.“Yes, but you have helped me so much, and you braid my hair when I ask you to.”“Hon, I love braiding your hair. Manny and I never had kids and I’ve always wished for a pretty girl to make a fuss over. Please, don’t think you have to repay me for brushing your long hair, and braiding it for you.”After Mandy and Manny went upstairs, I walked into the den to catch the news. Julie came in and sat next to me on the couch. I could tell there was.
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